Were half the villages of my home county given new names to save the sensibilities of a queen? This is not a question I expected to ever ask myself, and it’s all the fault of a goose.

I keep up with the latest goings on in Dorset through our local newspaper, you see, and last week my attention was caught by a big and important news story. A goose was reported to have been causing a potential hazard to motorists on the A35 near the Puddletown turn-off.

According to the Dorset Echo, this emergency was reported at 8:12 a.m. on October 6, causing police to respond to the scene. Officers who a...